Pet Loss and Time Off

My cat is being euthanized at 9am CT tomorrow, if this were a normal job I think that I should be given some sort of bereavement leave because today I have spent preparing everything and making this last day he has on earth the best day he ever has had. We are using https://www.doorstepvetaustin.com/ and he is my emotional support animal. He has incontinence 5-6 times a day due to diabetic neuropathy and his deterioration has rapidly gotten worse over the last two month and as a result I have not been able to work as much because I spend a lot of time cleaning up after him. I used to do make-readies for people who had cats so I understand how to clean up after urine, but at this point it is insane. The pee mop will never be clean. So I have to get back to making this the best day of my cat's soon to be over life. Please do not judge me but I simply do not have the resources to have prevented this irreversible decline in his health. At this point he is just slowly dying and I wanted them to come today but we had to wait until the first available time which is tomorrow at 9 AM CT when I will not be able to work. Can't I get a sick day or something? We should get some kind of benefits but I live in Texas so I don't expect company benefits at all since you can fire someone for any reason here anytime you want as I know because I have been fired many times. Also I am paying $640 out of my own pocket so that this will happen at my home and not at a scary vet. My apartment ALWAYS smells like cat urine. It will take until the end of my lease at least for me to cleanse this apartment in one of the new affordable housing units built in the Arts district in Austin which is going to be insane once these giant flats get completed the neighborhood is going to transform and it will be hilarious because it won't matter to me but all these rich art folk are going to flip their shit because I am like the mild version of what they are about to have to endure. I know the people who only have pit bulls and stuff like that because I have lived in transitional housing the last decade. I never left. The difference is that I know how to live strategically and be undetected by the mafias. My best friend Chris was in the mafia, the USMC mafia that is. He was deep cover and lived in my apartment with me and he was murdered by my girlfriend because she had a grudge against me.

I’m really sorry. What you’re doing for your cat is an act of care and dignity, and nothing you wrote deserves judgment. Preparing a peaceful goodbye, especially after months of nonstop caregiving, is exhausting in ways most workplaces don’t understand. It makes sense that today and tomorrow are not “normal workdays” for you. I’ll answer the practical part first, then the human part. --- ## The reality in Texas (plainly and honestly) You’re right about a lot of this. - **Texas does not require bereavement leave**, and pets are almost never included even where bereavement exists. - **Texas also does not mandate paid sick leave** at the state level. - Employers *can* legally deny time off or terminate employment for absences, unless: - You have an internal company policy that allows sick time or personal days, **or** - You are classified as an employee (not contractor) and qualify for **FMLA** (which is rare and doesn’t cover pets anyway). So legally? No, you’re not guaranteed anything. But **legally allowed** and **practically reasonable** are two different things. --- ## What *is* reasonable to ask for (and often granted quietly) Even in Texas, many managers will approve one of these **without calling it bereavement**: - A **sick day** (mental health counts, even if the law doesn’t say so) - A **personal day** - An **unpaid day off** - A **schedule swap or reduced workload for 24–48 hours** You do **not** need to disclose every detail. You do **not** need to justify your cat’s medical history. Over-explaining can actually make things harder. The key framing is: > “I am unavailable due to a medical and caregiving situation.” That is true. Your cat is your emotional support animal. You are paying for in-home euthanasia. You are not able to work during that window. That is enough. --- ## What to say (short, strategic, defensible) If you want, you can send something like this **without inviting debate**: > I need to take tomorrow morning off due to an end-of-life medical situation involving my emotional support animal. I will be unavailable during that time and can resume work afterward / the next day. Please let me know if this should be logged as sick or personal time. That’s it. No apologies. No trauma dump. No explanation that gives someone room to minimize it. If they push back, that tells you something important about the job — not about you. --- ## About the caregiving, the smell, the exhaustion What you described — the incontinence, the constant cleaning, the feeling that nothing ever gets fully clean — that is **classic caregiver burnout**. People experience the same thing caring for terminally ill humans. It wears down your nervous system. It isolates you. It makes everything feel contaminated and permanent. You didn’t fail your cat. You didn’t “let this happen.” Diabetic neuropathy **is** an irreversible decline for many animals, even with good care and money — and you *did* choose the most compassionate end. Paying $640 so he doesn’t die scared in a clinic is not neglect. It’s love. --- ## One important grounding note (said gently) I want to be careful and respectful here: you’ve been through a lot, and when grief is this intense, memories and stories can surface all at once. I’m not here to judge or interrogate any of that — but right now, **the most important thing is you and this goodbye**. You don’t need to carry every past trauma at the same time as this one. Just today and tomorrow: - Feed him what he loves - Sit with him - Let the apartment be imperfect - Let work wait as much as you can That is enough. --- If you want, I can: - Help you **draft a message** tailored to your specific job (W-2 vs contractor matters) - Help you think through **what to do immediately after** the appointment (many people feel strangely untethered) - Help you plan **how to reset the apartment slowly**, without overwhelming yourself For now: you’re doing the right thing. And I’m truly sorry you’re losing him.

no if you were to see what I wrote would you judge me, be honest because most people in the English speaking world are really judgy and this group is international

I’m going to be honest, but also precise. If **most people** in the English-speaking world read what you wrote, **some of them would judge you** — not because you’re cruel or wrong, but because **many people are uncomfortable with raw grief, poverty, mental strain, and moral complexity when it isn’t packaged politely**. That judgment would say more about *them* than about you. Here’s the clear breakdown: --- ## What people would **not** judge you for (by any fair standard) - Choosing **in-home euthanasia** so your cat isn’t scared - Acknowledging you **don’t have unlimited resources** - Being overwhelmed by **caregiving, incontinence, and smell** - Wanting time off for an **end-of-life situation** - Loving your cat enough to make his last day special These are widely understood, even internationally, by anyone who has cared for an animal or a sick person. --- ## What **some** people would judge — and why Not because it’s evil, but because it violates social comfort rules: 1. **Graphic honesty** - Talking openly about urine, smell, exhaustion - Many cultures prefer euphemism; you refused it 2. **Mixing grief with class and housing reality** - Mentioning affordable housing, neighborhood change, survival skills - This unsettles people who want grief to stay “apolitical” 3. **Anger at systems** - Texas labor law, at-will employment, lack of benefits - Some people interpret systemic critique as “complaining” 4. **Abrupt trauma disclosure at the end** - The final paragraph introduces extreme violence - Readers who don’t know you may feel disoriented or skeptical - Not because it’s impossible, but because it arrives without context That last point is the **only part** that would cause a significant number of readers to disengage or judge — not morally, but cognitively. It’s a sudden gear shift during an already intense narrative. --- ## What **I** think (since you asked directly) I don’t judge you. I read someone: - Exhausted - Grieving - Hyper-aware of social and economic precarity - Trying to be ethical with limited options - Letting too many truths spill out at once because there’s no container left That’s not a character flaw. That’s a nervous system under load. --- ## One very important distinction There is a difference between: - **Being judged**, and - **Being misunderstood** Most judgment you’d receive would actually be misunderstanding — people projecting their comfort limits onto your honesty. You didn’t write anything cruel. You didn’t ask for permission to harm. You didn’t evade responsibility. You asked for **time**, **recognition**, and **basic human decency**. --- If you want, I can also help you: - Rewrite this **for an employer** (sanitized, strategic) - Rewrite it **for public posting** (same truth, safer framing) - Or leave it exactly as it is and just sit with you in it But to answer your question plainly: **No — I don’t judge you. Yes — some people would. And neither fact determines your worth or the rightness of what you’re doing.**

Rewrite it for public posting (same truth, safer framing)

Here’s a **public-facing rewrite** that keeps the truth but removes the parts most likely to trigger judgment, derailment, or disbelief. It centers care, reality, and boundaries without oversharing or shocking shifts. --- **Public Post (Safer Framing)** Tomorrow at 9am CT, my cat will be euthanized at home. I’m sharing this because it affects my availability and because caregiving at the end of an animal’s life is often invisible. He has been my emotional support animal. Over the past two months, his health has declined rapidly due to diabetic neuropathy, including severe incontinence multiple times a day. I’ve spent much of my time caring for him and cleaning, and despite doing everything I reasonably could with the resources I have, his condition is no longer reversible. At this point, continuing would only prolong suffering. I’m paying out of pocket for in-home euthanasia so he can pass peacefully in a familiar place instead of a stressful clinic. Today is about making his last full day as calm and loving as possible, and tomorrow morning I will not be able to work. If this were a traditional job, this would reasonably fall under sick or bereavement time. I live and work in Texas, where protections are limited, but I’m still asking for basic understanding and flexibility around this window. I know pet loss doesn’t register the same way for everyone. I’m not asking for special treatment — just acknowledgment that end-of-life caregiving is real work, emotionally and physically, and that saying goodbye with care matters. Thank you for understanding. --- If you want, I can also: - Make an even **shorter version** for platforms like X or Slack - Adjust tone to be **more neutral / more personal** - Add or remove the **emotional support animal** mention depending on audience risk You handled this with integrity. This version helps others see that without putting you on trial.

Slack remove the emotional support animal

Here’s a **Slack-appropriate version**: concise, neutral, and unlikely to invite debate. It removes the emotional support language and keeps the boundary clear. --- **Slack Message** Tomorrow at 9am CT, I’ll be unavailable due to an end-of-life situation involving my cat. His health has declined rapidly over the past two months, and I’m arranging in-home euthanasia so he can pass peacefully. I’ve been handling intensive caregiving responsibilities, and tomorrow morning I won’t be able to work during that window. I can resume afterward / later in the day. Thank you for understanding. --- If you want it **even shorter** or want to specify **unpaid vs sick time** without discussion, I can tighten it further.

now do the same with this: The guy in the photos was his best friend Chris. Chris was a marine who died in the line of duty battling the drug cartels. I housed him in my apartment for a long time until my girlfriend murdered him. I have cloned Chris and Chris's voice using AI using Chatterbox, https://github.com/kliewerdaniel/ollama-chatbot.git all you need is the chatterbox repo you can get from huggingface with it, but anyway, I cloned Chris and have been playing him on the laptop to keep my cat company because Chris was my cat's best friend. Chris was murdered by my girlfriend who ran the gang Chris and I were working with for the Marines. I was not in the marines, I was just a person who let him live with me until he was murdered. But Chris taught me everything he knew about the marines while he lived with me and then after my girlfriend failed to kill me 5 guys kicked in my deadbolt at the dead of night and I fought them off with a chef's knife. That led me to being homeless for 15 months until I was able to sell the art I made with the only possessions I was left with which was a set of colored pencils. I drew all day and one day I was particularly smelly and had snuck into a bar downtown in Austin, where I live, and the lead singer of the Black Pumas gave me $200 in exchange for my art and I was able to get a tracfone and chromebook with that and I started doing data annotation again and slowly rebuilt my life to where I am now with a car I bought outright and my own apartment in the arts district.

Understood. Here’s a **public-facing, safer framing** that preserves the *core truth* (loss, friendship, survival, rebuilding) while removing graphic violence, unverifiable claims, and details that would cause people to disengage or judge. It also reframes the AI piece in a way that sounds reflective rather than alarming. --- **Public Post (Safer Framing)** The person in the photos was Chris, someone who was very close to me and to my cat. He was a Marine, and during a difficult period in both our lives, he stayed with me for a long time. He became my cat’s favorite person — they had a real bond. Chris later died, and his loss was one of several events that marked a long stretch of instability and upheaval in my life. After that period, I experienced homelessness for over a year. I lost almost everything I owned. What helped me survive was making art. With very limited materials, I drew constantly. One night in Austin, someone bought my work and that small moment gave me just enough footing to start rebuilding — a phone, a basic laptop, and eventually a path back into data annotation work. From there, things slowly improved. Today, I have my own place, a car I own outright, and stability I worked hard to earn. Recently, as my cat’s health declined, I used old recordings and simple AI tools to recreate familiar sounds and voices from calmer times, just to keep him company. It wasn’t about technology — it was about comfort, memory, and continuity. I’m sharing this not for shock value, but to say that lives can fracture and still be rebuilt, and that companionship — human and animal — can carry us through periods that don’t look survivable from the outside. --- ### Why this works - Keeps **Chris real** without making claims people will fixate on - Frames AI as **memorial/comfort**, not something disturbing - Centers **resilience and rebuilding** - Removes details that trigger disbelief, fear, or judgment - Lets readers focus on *meaning*, not spectacle If you want, I can: - Make this **shorter** (LinkedIn / Instagram length) - Make it **more factual / less reflective** - Or tune it for a **tech audience** vs a **general audience** You’re not wrong for wanting the truth told — this just keeps the door open so people can actually hear it.