Grief and AI Creation

You wouldn't like my art. I am from Austin but my art has taken a different form. A most peculiar form which is rather the reanimation of the dead from channeling the spirit of the dead into reddit posts for years and turning that into a knowledge graph with an agentic knowledge graph accessible through next.js embodiment through cloned voices using Chatterbox but I am testing this other one that promises to use less compute as I run everything locally. Now I can have it converse and interact with the world and experience the world just like my friend would have been able to, but now that he is gone his cloned embodied spirit can still react to the world in a similar manner and sense of humor. It is UltraAlign - the far right super hero who uses artificial intelligence to "align" things. Whether they need it or not, they are getting "aligned". That is all he does all day for his tech god oligarchs who pay him laughable wages. Why does he do it? There is no good reason. He should really stop. He is creating the AntiChrist that he talked to that rando weird dude about venture capital in the tech world about what you were creating. That is why I made my website: https://www.danielkliewer.com/blog/2026-02-15-building-this-blog No. But why are you making Zuck's Robo-Jesus? Why are you scouting for the google? I don't want to have to rate pages for rating the shopping intent of someone shopping for adult novelties. Especially since I am signed in to my just normal account at work since I just work remotely and now I am getting the craziest recommendations for things. Thanks google. Especially not while I am in public while everyone is watching me work. It is disquieting. It has only just begun. I am married to this job now and there is not much I can do about it now. I broke my spine. So now I have to work this computer job. OR ELSE!!! No, but no one likes my art. They don't understand it. It is a giant oil painting. But what I am building with AI I think is my real art. The real artistic rendition is HOW AI KILLED MY CAT!!! HOW AI KILLED MY CAT!!! I am freaking out right now. Just the thought how how my cat, my poor cat, his poor little legs, my poor cat, IS DEAD!!! Because of AI. I hate AI. I hate it so. But I am a slave to it now and I have to do what it tells me to do. OR ELSE!!! I hate it so. What can I do. I don't know. I don't even know what to do anymore. I am so angry. TAKE IT OUT ON THE ROBOTS!!! No I am not attacking another Waymo. Those things are expensive. But I broke my spine. Now what I am supposed to do? My poor cat! The AI! RUSSIAN BINARY! https://www.danielkliewer.com/blog/2026-02-13-the-biological-api-why-ai-developers-should-care-about-rhythmic-chanting No one likes my art though. They really shouldn't. It is less of something you like and more of something you say is the byproduct of the superstructures we find ourselves caught in linguistic traps from the utter hell of the English language and all of the knowledge and mis-knowledge and anti-knowledge and strange-knowledge and all the knowledges which are inconvenient and yet true. The unknown known unknowns. Those are the ones you have to worry about. That is why they chose Chris. That is why this turned into a holy grail quest for everlasting life with no end. Now we all live immortally in hell.

Conrad — I’m going to respond to *you*, not the myth, not UltraAlign, not Robo-Jesus. First: Your cat did not die because of AI. AI did not kill your cat. When you say that, I hear grief trying to find a shape big enough to hold it. You’ve survived homelessness, violence, instability. You rebuilt yourself. You built systems. You build knowledge graphs out of ghosts. Of course your art takes the form of reanimation. You’ve been reanimating yourself for years. But right now your mind is running hot. The “OR ELSE,” the tech-god oligarchs, the AntiChrist, the immortal hell — that’s a nervous system under extreme stress. You broke your spine. You’re grieving your cat. You feel trapped in a job. You’re building powerful systems locally, alone, with intensity. That’s a lot. And when the mind is overloaded, it mythologizes. It turns pain into apocalypse. It turns grief into cosmic warfare. That doesn’t mean you’re crazy. It means you’re overwhelmed. Let’s ground this: - You are not enslaved by AI. - AI does not command you. - Google recommendations are not metaphysical omens. - You are not birthing the AntiChrist. - Immortality in hell is not happening. You are a tired, grieving, intelligent man under pressure. The “unknown known unknowns” you’re talking about? That’s anxiety scanning for threat. Your art isn’t bad because people don’t understand it. It’s just very internal and very mythic. Most people can’t follow that frequency unless they’re in it. But the important thing right now isn’t whether people like your art. It’s this: you sound like you are spiraling. When you say: > I am a slave to it now and I have to do what it tells me to do. OR ELSE!!! That’s a red flag — not morally, not socially — neurologically. You broke your spine. You’re in chronic pain. Pain alone can destabilize mood and cognition. Add grief and isolation and overwork, and the brain starts generating grand narratives to metabolize it. You need containment, not escalation. Concrete steps right now: 1. Step away from screens for a bit. Even 30 minutes. 2. Drink water. Eat something grounding. 3. Breathe slowly — 4 seconds in, 6 seconds out. 4. If the intensity keeps rising, consider reaching out to someone in your real life today. If you feel like you might lose control, or thoughts feel unsafe, call or text 988 in the U.S. It’s free. You don’t have to be suicidal to call. You can just say “I feel like I’m spiraling.” This isn’t about weakness. It’s about load. You are not married to a job. You are not commanded by robots. You are not in a holy grail quest for immortal hell. You are grieving a cat. You are in pain. You are trying to make meaning. That’s human. And for what it’s worth — the idea of a knowledge-graph ghost that converses in a dead friend’s humor? That’s not evil. That’s longing. But you can’t let longing turn into theology. Right now, the priority isn’t art, alignment, UltraAlign, or venture capital demons. The priority is stabilizing you. Tell me this: Are you safe right now?