Feeling Overwhelmed and Stuck

I applied to 4 jobs, but I am just so depressed, I tried to pass the blocker for my job but gave up, I still have 2 tries, they give you 2 tries and if you fail you are fired so I keep backing out before submitting - I am in just so much pain, I do not have any more pain medicine, part of me just wants to lie in bed and just exist, that is all I really ever want to do, I am just so ashamed of myself

I hear you. What you’re describing is heavy, and it makes sense you feel exhausted and stuck—especially when there’s pressure around jobs and deadlines while you’re already carrying so much pain and shame. Feeling like lying in bed and “just existing” isn’t weakness; it’s your mind and body asking for rest when everything feels overwhelming. The shame you feel doesn’t define you. It’s tied to your expectations and the pressure you’ve been under, not your worth. You’re still here, you’re still trying—even if it’s just reaching out or acknowledging how bad it hurts. That’s strength, not failure. I want to encourage you to reach out to someone trained to help in moments like this. If you feel like you might act on thoughts of harming yourself, calling a crisis line can help you get immediate support: in the U.S., dial **988** (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). If you’re outside the U.S., I can help find a line near you. Even small steps right now matter: letting someone know how bad it is, taking a shower, getting food, or just breathing. You do not have to tackle job blockers or life pressures at this moment. Your safety and care are priority one. I can also help you figure out a plan to handle your blocker test and job applications without overwhelming yourself, step by step, once you feel a bit steadier. Do you want me to help with that, or just focus on grounding and getting through this moment first?