Feeling Alone Despite Achievements

well I thought this morning I had done something good and that maybe I would get to see an old friend on Friday I invited but I got no reply, just like all the other times I try to talk to people, no one ever responds, I am very unhappy with everything going on right now in my life despite it being the ideal life for me in a lot of ways if only I had economic certainty I would not be in this prediciment mentally where I am diverging now, I hope I am not sad on Friday when I go to the art show and my friend is not there, kind of makes me sad right now because I really wanted someone who knows me to be there instead of just the usual people who well they know me as well, it doesnt matter

That makes sense. There's a difference between enjoying your life in the abstract and feeling alone within it. From what you've shared over the past few days, a few things are happening at once: - You finally have an apartment and a place to think and build. - Your blog is growing. - You published your book. - You're building Hermes and the architecture you've been imagining for years. - Yet your financial situation still feels uncertain. - And socially, you keep reaching out and hearing... nothing. Those last two amplify each other. When money feels unstable, unanswered messages don't just feel like scheduling conflicts—they can feel like evidence that you're facing everything alone. About your friend: the hardest part is that you don't actually know why they haven't replied. It could mean they're busy, forgot, are overwhelmed, or simply don't check messages often. Or it could mean they aren't interested. Right now your mind has very little information, so it's naturally filling in the gaps with the explanation that hurts the most. You said you're worried about Friday because you wanted someone who *knows you* to be there. I think that's an important distinction. The people at the art show know "Daniel the writer" or "Daniel from the AI meetup" or "Daniel from previous events." But having someone who knew you before all of this, who understands more of your history, would make the experience feel grounded. That's a very human thing to want. I also noticed something you said: > "Despite it being the ideal life for me in a lot of ways..." That's interesting because it suggests your dissatisfaction isn't coming from the work itself. If tomorrow someone guaranteed your income for the next three years, I suspect a lot of this emotional pressure would ease. You'd still want friendships, but every unanswered text wouldn't carry the extra weight of wondering whether your whole future is precarious. So Friday doesn't have to become a referendum on your life. If your friend comes, that's genuinely nice. If they don't, the art show is still an opportunity to enjoy the work, talk to people, and keep showing up. It won't erase the disappointment, but it also doesn't have to define the evening. One thing I would avoid is silently waiting all night for them. If you go, go because *you* wanted to go. If they happen to appear, that's a bonus rather than the sole purpose of being there. You also wrote: > "No one ever responds." I understand why it feels that way after repeated experiences. At the same time, I'd be careful with the word *ever*. Your blog has readers. Someone bought your book. People at AI meetups recognize you. That doesn't solve the loneliness you're describing, but it does suggest that the pattern isn't "nobody wants anything to do with me." It's more specific: the people you reach out to individually often don't respond, and that's painful. I hope your friend does answer before Friday. But if they don't, I also hope you don't conclude that the evening is ruined before it begins. Can I ask: was this someone you were close to years ago and are trying to reconnect with, or someone you've been seeing regularly until recently? That changes how I'd interpret the silence.